 RPM
- The Movie
directed by Ian Sharp, Paramount Home
Video
I will start off with the
short review for those with better things to
do. DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE. If you have the
video, burn it. If you have the DVD, destroy
it immediately. It is one hour and thirty one
minutes of your life YOU WILL NEVER GET BACK.
For the sadists in the crowd
not scared off by what was written above, RPM
is a straight-to-video feature that was filmed
in 1997, but shelved for many years while
scientists tried to build up a vaccine for it.
It features David Arquette as Luke Delson, a
professional car thief that is contacted by an
oil baron to steal some supercars from a
Concours D' Elegance he is sponsoring in
France. While he is there, he is offered a
billion dollars to steal a prototype supercar
(car expertly played by an Spectre R42) that
doesn't need gas to run. What complicates
things for Luke is the nearly impenetrable
fortress that contains the car, the oil
baron's mistress played by Emmanuelle Seigner,
and a rival car thief played by Famke Jannsen.
Actually, what complicates
things is that THIS MOVIE SUCKS. I cannot
stress this enough to you people. This movie
actually makes Driven look credible. I mean
c'mon, a supercar that doesn't need gasoline?!
David Arquette using dialogue, much less
portraying a car thief? A Spectre R42? The
real tragedy about this movie is that it was
co-written under a pseudonym by Donald Cammell
who committed suicide in 1996. He directed
"Performance" with Mick Jagger, yet another
movie better than this one.
If you are an absolute car
nut, you will barely keep your eyelids open
enough to see some sweet machinery boosted,
like an Aston Martin DB4, a Chaterham Super 7
or an early Ferrari Testa Rossa. If you're a
13 year-old boy, your hormones would explode
with the sex romps of the main characters as
well as the exotic cars featured. For the
racerchick, if you are a David Arquette fan,
let me preface my comments by expressing my
condolences regarding your recent traumatic
head injury. But even the most ardent David
Arquette-Cox completist would skip this
cinematic merde. For the rest of the
racerchicks (and racerdudes), I would
recommend any of the Herbie the Love Bug
series (especially the first one) over this.
That has just as many, if not more old
European exotics, better racing and stunt
footage, and Dean Jones is a much better
thespian than David Arquette.
Hell, the 1963 Volkswagen
Beetle was a much better thespian than David
Arquette...
Andre,
a resident of Toronto is a motorsport
addict who isn't interested in any sort of
recovery.
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